You know what hurts the most?
Knowing you’re fine, and you don’t care. And I’m a fucking mess, and can’t do anything, you’re all I think about. If you read this far, please keep reading…
Everyday I wake up, I cry.
I brush my teeth, and try to smile.
But I can’t, everything I do reminds me of you.
Every song I hear, we use to sing together, or it fits perfectly to our current situation.
It hurts even more, cause we’re not even friends.
I guess it doesn’t matter though, I couldn’t be just friends with you if I tried.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep.
I’ve lost weight.
I’m sick to my stomach, not at the thought of you.
But because I’m losing you… And I don’t want to…
I want you, so bad.
But you don’t want me anymore..
I don’t know why, either..
I use to make you happy, and make you smile.
Now you hate me, and don’t want to work things out.
That really hurts, because I love you.
I promise that, because it’s true.
I really do.
You can’t change it, and nobody else can either.
I don’t know why I’m even writing this, you won’t read it.
And if you do, you won’t change your mind.
You won’t try, just one more time.
Or give me another chance..
You don’t know what this is doing to me though…
I wake up everyday and wish, and hope that things will be okay again, that you’ll be nice to me, and that we’d be happy again.
I wish you still wanted me, like I want you.
This all just happened, right out of the blue.
I’m stuck here, miserable, sick over you.
I just want you to come back, and hug me, and tell me it’s okay.
But that’ll never happen.
I can’t wait for the day your name lights up my phone…
Will that day ever come?
I can only hope…
I know I can’t make you feel how you use to, I’m just stumped cause I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why it changed.
But I wish it wouldn’t have.
We were really happy, really something.
You were what I looked foreword to everyday.
You were the reason I smiled so much.
I was happiest when I was with you..
Now all I have is memories, and pictures of you.
Do you even miss me?
I really miss you…
I don’t know what to do, or which way to move.
I’m never gonna be good enough for you, I wish I was though…
I want to be good enough..
I wish I knew why I’m not good enough..
You say it’s not really me, and that it’s you, and you gotta figure yourself out. But why can’t I be there? Why can’t we be how we were?):
I miss that girl, the one that cared about me.
And made me feel like I wasn’t alone anymore, the one who made me feel special, and like someone actually cared.
I’m lost now, like I seriously don’t know what to do.
All I’ve done is cry.
It never gets me anywhere, but it’s all I do.
I promised I’d never leave you, and I never did, or will…
You promised you’d never leave me, too…
But where are you now…?)’:
I don’t want to lose you…
And I love with you…
I know that’s scary for you, but I wish you’d give me one more chance to prove I can be what you want still… Please? One more chance, to make it right, to show you I can’t be what you want, and be good enough…
I love you… If you read this, I hope you really think about everything I said… Goodnight, babygirl, I miss you so much. I hope I dream of you tonight. I miss your voice, and smile. They always made me feel okay, and like everything would be okay, they reassured me, that you were there… I wish you were here now.. To wipe my tears and hold me…
Goodnight, dey.. I love you, sweet dreams beautiful..